Dear Men,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Two days after Colleen was murdered, a friend was going to be in town. We had dinner scheduled. When he heard what had happened, he reached out and gave me an out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I didn’t take it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Hell no. I need connection now more than ever.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dinner was exactly what I needed. A judgment-free space with a friend.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As we stood in the parking lot afterward, saying our goodbyes in the way men do, he pulled me in for a hug and said: “Keep it together, my man.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Instantly I replied: “Nope. I’m going to go home and lose my shit.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He didn’t say anything at first. Just stepped back, looked at me, and put his hand on my shoulder.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then: “Don’t confuse the two. Sometimes in order to keep it together, you need to lose your shit.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I’ve carried those words for ten years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What my friend gave me in that parking lot wasn’t advice. It wasn’t a solution. It wasn’t even a plan.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was permission. And space to use it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That is rarer than you’d think. Especially for men.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We are living through an emotional recession right now. And it is disproportionately impacting men.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
75 to 80 percent of all suicides are men. In Canada, 8 men die by suicide every single day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The story we keep telling ourselves is that men don’t want to talk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That’s the wrong diagnosis.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Picture a man you know. The one who says he’s fine. Who shows up, handles it, carries the weight without complaint. You probably admire him for it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Now ask yourself: when was the last time anyone asked him how he was actually doing and waited for the real answer?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Men don’t lack the desire to be heard. They have almost nowhere they believe anyone is actually listening.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
From the time we were boys, we were handed a script. Be strong. Handle it. Don’t need things. The men who handed it to us weren’t trying to hurt us. They were passing forward the only language they’d been given.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But that script is costing us everything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Real strength isn’t the suppression of pain. It’s what my friend offered in that parking lot. Presence. Permission. The willingness to stay while something hard is being said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You are in the right place. This community exists precisely for this. A room where men learn to give each other that kind of space. Deliberately. Regularly. Without the performance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you’ve been carrying something alone, this is your parking lot moment. We’re here.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Deliberately. Regularly. Without the performance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mike<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sources<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Suicide statistics: Canadian Mental Health Association \/ Statistics Canada. Men account for 75\u201380% of all suicides in most Western countries.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Help-seeking gap: Courtenay, W.H. (2000). “Constructions of Masculinity and Their Influence on Men’s Well-Being.” Social Science & Medicine<\/em>, 50(10).<\/p>\n\n\n\n Male suicide in Canada: Bilsker, D. & White, J. (2011). “The Silent Epidemic of Male Suicide.” BC Medical Journal<\/em>, 53(10).<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Dear Men, Two days after Colleen was murdered, a friend was going to be in town. We had dinner scheduled. When he heard what had happened, he reached out and gave me an out. I didn’t take it. “Hell no. I need connection now more than ever.” Dinner was exactly what I needed. A judgment-free…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2122,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2121","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":1,"label":"Uncategorized"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/connectdmen.com\/community\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Smutwood-42-of-49-1024x576.jpg",1024,576,true],"author_info":{"display_name":"Mike Cameron","author_link":"https:\/\/connectdmen.com\/community\/author\/mike\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":1,"name":"Uncategorized","slug":"uncategorized","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":1,"taxonomy":"category","description":"","parent":0,"count":5,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":1,"category_count":5,"category_description":"","cat_name":"Uncategorized","category_nicename":"uncategorized","category_parent":0}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/connectdmen.com\/community\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2121","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/connectdmen.com\/community\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/connectdmen.com\/community\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/connectdmen.com\/community\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/connectdmen.com\/community\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2121"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/connectdmen.com\/community\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2121\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2123,"href":"https:\/\/connectdmen.com\/community\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2121\/revisions\/2123"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/connectdmen.com\/community\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2122"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/connectdmen.com\/community\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2121"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/connectdmen.com\/community\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2121"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/connectdmen.com\/community\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2121"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}